Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
