ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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