Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
