are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You were trust falling into bushes
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
