If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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