Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize