I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
