"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
