I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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