you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
