I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
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He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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