She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
