Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
accomplished twins. life is a go
our cab driver is having phone sex.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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