we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
