closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
