We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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