Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
