Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
