You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
