butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just high enough for therapy.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
