Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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