just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
