i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
