I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
