I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
