its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
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the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
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By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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