think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
