someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
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i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
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You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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