wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
