Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
