he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
