he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
