So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
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