Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
