i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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