It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
