woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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