What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
