OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize