YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize