did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
