it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Pappa wants mamma naked
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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