we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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