Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
