My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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