There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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