your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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