During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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