I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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