**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
