Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
