where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
