Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
