so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
