ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
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its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
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My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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