I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
