My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
you never un-have a 4some
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
